LABASCATE
by mamaduck1870
Summary: First ever Law and Order: SVU fic! S13 E14 episode inspired! Cragen and Rollins talk about her gambling and try to find a path that's best for her. But is there something else going on as well? Story is complete!


**Author's Note: So...this is my first ever Law and Order: SVU fanfic. Inspired by S13 E14 entitled "HOME INVASIONS". MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THAT EPISODE. I tried to go out on a limb and push my writing...so hopfully this isn't TOO bad. The scene I add to is the way I think the scene should have gone. Drop me a line as to what you think and thanks for reading!**

**Rating: T (SAFE)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU or any of there rightful characters. All credit goes to Dick Wolf Productions and the wonderful actors that bring these characters to life. I own nothing-nor am I claiming that I do!**

**Summary: Cragen and Rollins talk... **

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_LABASCATE-v:_

_TO BEGIN TO FALL OR SLIDE_

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It was difficult to say when exactly it had started-but it was intended to be a casual thing-no prerequisites or definitions of expectations. The night Don Cragen got the call that one of his Detectives was downtown at a bar-practically drinking themselves into a coma-which would be one step away from the drunken stupor they were already in-a sinking feeling hit his stomach.

The bartender said over the phone that when he took the phone from the Detective-this was the first number he found. Getting out of bed and dressing himself-Don made his way downtown in record time-and upon entering the bar-the blonde half slumped over the crowded bar proved that the pain in his stomach and heart he had been experiencing on the way over-was accurate.

She was in a bad place.

Recently transferred up from Atlanta-Detective Amanda Rollins was clearly drinking something off of her mind-but what exactly-she'd swore she'd never tell. Afterall-why would she go around openly talking about her love affair with gambling that had quickly turned into an addiction upon her arrival in the Big Apple?

Approaching her and standing on her right side, Don put his left hand on her shoulder-

"Rollins,"

He got no response-so this time a little more firmly-

"Rollins,"

Something was mumbled-but from her position he couldn't even begin to try to make it out-

"AMANDA,"

And that one got her-she rose her head-and looked around. When she finally looked to her right-and locked her tired and seemingly lost blue eyes with his honest and always steady brown ones-Amanda almost broke down into tears right then. Seeing the struggle she was going through-Don knew getting her out of here was the best thing-

"C'mon, let's get you home."

Reaching into his pocket to pull out his billfold and pay her bill-the bartender approached and stopped him-

"No need man. She's already paid for her drinks. Just thought she could use a call to someone."

Looking at the bartender-

"Thanks."

Taking Rollins' right arm and putting it around his neck-he takes his left arm and steadies it on her waist-as he gets her up and off the barstool. Guiding her surprisingly small frame through the doors-he manages to get her into the passenger side of his car. Getting behind the wheel himself-he starts the car-and thinking she's not so wasted that she won't know her own address-he asks while looking at her-

"Rollins, where's your place?"

Instantly-her mood changed-

"No! Please Cragen-don't take me there. Please."

The look that was engrossed in her eyes was just frightening. He hated seeing that look in anyone-but especially her. She sounded downright scared-which cause worry to flood Don's mind and veins-trying to comfort her-

"Alright, it's okay. We won't go there, okay?"

Amanda still looked unsteady-so Don repeated-

"Okay?"

Finally returning his gaze-her voice is smaller than even she could've imagined when Rollins speaks-

"Okay."

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Going to his place-on the way Amanda had fallen asleep-which only left him with more questions than answers about what was truly going on with her.

Parking the car and going ahead and unlocking his apartment door-he came back and got Rollins out of the car and into his place with far less trouble than he had expected. The realization dawning on him that she wasn't asleep-but instead passed out-he put her in the spare bedroom-and after a moments she rolled onto her side. Keeping the door wide open-in addition to his bedroom door-just down the hall-he hoped that tomorrow would not only be better for her-but that he would get an explanation.

Rolling over and waking up and about half past seven the next morning-Cragen remembered last nights' events. Putting on his robe and treading softly down the hall-he checked in on Rollins-only to find she was nowhere to be found.

Heading to the kitchen-he sees a note on his dining table-located next to forty dollars in cash.

Reading the note aloud-

"Sorry for the inconvenience, it won't happen again. Thank you for coming to get me. The cash is for the trouble and ride."

Shaking his head to himself-he couldn't believe it. Amanda thought it was an inconvenience for her to need help? Everybody needs a helping hand every once in a while-it was no trouble for Cragen to help her out. Deciding to go ahead and get ready for the day-he was kind of hoping that when he got to the precinct-he would be able to talk to Rollins for a minute-just to see if she was okay.

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Rollins had arrived at the precinct earlier than ever before-and she was trying desperately to busy her mind so she wouldn't think of last night. Throughout the day and the case-she knew that Cragen wanted to talk to her-she could tell whenever he was around. But Amanda wasn't volunteering any information and Cragen…well he didn't directly ask.

At least not yet-though it seemed that lucky streak had just run out-

"Rollins-my office."

Rising from her desk-Fin and Benson eyed her curiously-which she just shrugged off. Closing his office door behind her-she looked at her Captain seated in his office chair-while she chose to stand-

"Yes?"

He pauses-unsure of how to tread in this new situation. Finally-

"What happened last night?"

Straight to the point-Rollins should've prepared herself for at least that much-

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you-drunk-not wanting to go to your place. What's going on? Are you okay?"

His calm tone in this room right now was so unlike the one he used in the field-Amanda couldn't help it-it threw her off balance. Struggling to find an answer that wasn't exactly the truth-yet would be enough to get him off her back-

But she didn't have to. The knock on the door was her last second saving grace-

"Captain, you're gonna wanna take a look at this."

Fin's entrance was as quick as his exit-which again left Cragen and Rollins alone. With a look that said 'we're not done here'-Cragen and Rollins both left-headed to the squad room-to see the case update.

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Two nights later found a very exhausted Rollins still sitting at her desk-she'd finished her case reports about two hours ago and since then-she'd just been sitting here-thinking. The rest of the team had long since left-but she felt no need-or rush-to leave tonight. With their case finally closed-and her mind running in about a thousand directions-she didn't hear Cragen walk up behind her.

When he put his hand on her shoulder-she jumped strongly-which caused a smile to break out upon the Captain's face-

"Didn't mean to startle you."

Amanda turns-and faces him-seeing his has two cups of coffee in paper cups-stacked on top of each other-

"Don't worry about it."

He nods-

"Coffee?"

Amanda smiles and accepts the cup that was offered and Cragen grabs a nearby chair and swivels it around to her-

"We have to talk about the other night. You know that, right?"

Of course she knew it-she just didn't want to do it-and she really didn't want to do it with him. It always seemed that the most difficult conservations came with those of whom you cared about the most. Rollins takes a strong drink of the dark, hot liquid-more than he thought she would for her first sip. It was a little un-nerving-seeing her need something like that in order to talk to him.

Rollins just didn't want to screw anything up by talking to him-she wanted something to steady her-

"Yes, I do. But…if I tell you I just had a bad day…would you believe me and just…leave this alone?"

Her voice was scared-uneven-and her eyes kept darting from place to place. So his answer was brutally honest-it fit the man-

"No,"

Rollins laughed slightly at herself-and the situation-when his response was audible. Taking another healthy sip of her coffee-Cragen continued-

"If you keep drinking like that, we're gonna have to go back for round two."

At that-Amanda let out a real laugh-which caused Cragen to smile and chuckle as well. When her eyes met his again-she had a feeling hit her in the pit of her stomach. A good one. Yet-it was a feeling she couldn't quite name. Trying to give an answer he would accept-

"Look, I…"

A knot the size of a softball forms in her throat-tears begin to brim-yet Amanda wills herself to not let them fall. As long as the tears don't fall-she could get through this without feeling like a fool-

"I just had to face something I'm not proud of for a few seconds. And as you saw, I didn't handle it well. But I'm fine, Cragen, really."

She put on a brave face through the tears he knew were there-and her answer did nothing to ease his worry. He knew she wasn't telling the whole story-but he didn't want to interrogate her or put her in a [position to feel uncomfortable. Yet-a thought still crossed his mind after he takes a drink of his coffee-

"When did you start calling me Cragen instead of Captain?"

With a tone full of humor-Amanda looks at him and laughs again-

"I don't know, I guess I just started one day."

It was truly and honestly refreshing to see her laugh-her eyes lit up and it was good to see. Don couldn't help-when she smiled, he had to do the same.

Cragen-not wanting to lose this moment-

"I like it. Sounds good,"

Rollins give a small nod and hopes he'll let this go-he was too important to the team-and to her-for his mind to be furrowed with worry about her-

"Get some rest Amanda. Go hom-,"

He stops himself-realizing that she might not want to go home-for a reason that has yet to be revealed to him-so he tries a new tactic-after rising from his seat-

"Sorry. If you need a place to stay-just…say the word."

He places his free hand on her shoulder-trying to re-affirm the fact that he was serious with the words-truly, he meant them. If Rollins ever needed something-Cragen would be there. Touched he remembered the comment from last night that was still a little funny to her own memory-

"I'll be fine. Always am."

Cragen couldn't help but nod slowly and give a small, sad sort of smile. He starts to walk away-but pauses in his motions. Turning back to Amanda-he finds she's looking through one of her desk drawers for something-which gave him the perfect opportunity. Reaching into his right suit jacket breast pocket-he pulls out the forty dollars she'd left on his table this morning-and lightly sets it on her desk-without her immediately noticing.

Then he turns on his heel-and leaves the precinct-hoping she would soon be doing the same.

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Over the next two months-Rollins and Cragen saw a lot more of each other outside of work. There were no definitions-no titles-no explaining what exactly what they were doing-the both of them just knew it was easy being with the other.

They were learning about each other-a little at a time. Rollins didn't learn about Cragen's widower status and drinking habits when he was younger-Cragen didn't learn about Amanda's gambling addiction or past history of abusive boyfriends. When they were together, though-they weren't around for long. Usually a few hours of talking-winding down, so to speak-and then they'd go their separate ways-back to he lives that claimed them outside of SVU.

Yet-one couldn't say if there were romantic feelings just under the surface-but there was something there that was more than just your typical Captain to Detective aspect. Cragen couldn't shake the feeling that Rollins had something she wasn't letting him in on-something vital-important-critical almost-possibly something she wouldn't necessarily define herself as proud of.

Given the fact that Don didn't exactly know how to bring that fact up in casual conservation-he held onto the thought for a little while longer-thinking that there would be a moment in which the opportunity would present itself.

And he had no idea just how right he was.

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The very second Murphy walked through the precinct-Amanda Rollins knew she was caught-and somewhere deep down she knew she would eventually have to tell Don-she also knew she didn't want to.

The night Murphy got physical with her-with Parker at his aide-she was supposed to meet up with Cragen-but she didn't. She called her partner instead-giving a test run to the truth on Fin-hoping the result would be at least a decent one. As it turned out-he'd taken it better than she thought-giving her a sliver of hope as to what would happen when she told Cragen-which she realized was more important than she had originally thought when Fin had brought it up on his own.

Knocking on the office door of her Captain-she entered-and knew this would be one of the hardest things that she would ever have to admit out loud. Making her opening statement and standing directly in front of his desk-then news that Murphy had already told her story was deflating-to say the least.

Cragen's tone was more than stern-and more than Amanda was used to. No doubt some of the moroseness and sullenness was a remnant of how close they had gotten over the past few months. Though they had been sharing quite a lot-they hadn't told the darkest of their stories yet-but Amanda still felt bad-for more reasons than one.

She looked up to this man-he was a great leader-and an even better person to talk to. Naturally, Don Cragen was the last person she wanted to hurt. Yet-this conservation wouldn't be easy. The ones that mattered never were-

"I gambled...and I, and I lost. That's it."

Cragen didn't need to finish his comment about what she would do for Murphy if she were desperate enough-Cragen knew the answer and Rollins damn well knew that she didn't need to hear it. Desperation could be a strong motivator of negative occurrences if the timing and situation was right.

She only nods at the words that weren't finished-left to be forever hanging in the air. Cragen leans forward in his desk chair-lightly bracing himself of the desk that was more like a home these days-

"You understand, I really should take your gun and shield, right now."

Rollins straightened her standing posture-and adjusted the two most precious items in her career located on her hip-the two aforementioned by her Captain in his small-yet comfortable-office. Mumbling a 'yeah', Cragen informed her of the lengths he was willing to go for her-if he knew everything that was going on-that is-

"Captain, it is. I swear."

Her spoken words were laced with more emotion than even she was aware of-and seeing that side of her made Don's heart cramp in a way he didn't like-not one damn bit. Rising from his office chair-a thought occurred to him-as he made his way around to perch himself lightly on the front of his desk.

Rollins had every intention of coming into his office this evening and telling him the truth-being straight up with him-after all, she had no idea that Murphy had ratted her out when she made her way into his office foyer. If there was one thing Don Cragen was sure of about Amanda Rollins-it was that she was not a coward-she wanted to tell the truth. And even though Cragen knew it already-she was still coming clean to him-in a way.

Hopefully a much less painful way-since Cragen had mentioned the weight on her shoulders for her. Amanda had put herself out on a ledge for him-her career-and the fact that deep down-she recognized she needed help. Yet, the part above it all that spoke the most volumes was this-Amanda put herself out there-on that steep ledge-without a safety net there to catch her. Desperate hopes that he would understand were all she had in that moment she knocked on his already open door.

So Cragen did the same-he out himself out on his own steep ledge-with no safety net himself. It was the only thing he could think of in that moment-while staying focused on the task at hand-that would let her know he could-and would-catch her-

"My Captain could've canned my ass, should've. But he got me help instead,"

Amanda's barely audible 'Oh' and almost violent swipe away of a brief tear that had begun to roll down her cheek told Cragen that they both knew what needed to happen next for her-

"You're a good Detective, Amanda. I don't wanna end you're career."

The strength that returned in her voice with her statement was a strong-and positive-note of progress-

"I don't want that either."

Cragen was glad to hear it-

"So I'm gonna get ya help. But ya screw up again, you're gone."

Her back straightened again and she held her head a little higher-trying to blink away the tears that were vividly threatening to spill over the brims of her eyes-for a few more than she would have preferred had already. Nodding-

"Okay."

A knock at the office door caused for interruption-but not before Cragen had one last question for Rollins-after letting whomever was at the door know that they could come in-

"We good?"

Amanda's eyes were not steady-they matched her mood and her heartbeat in this powerful moment-but Cragen's were calm-concerned-and as sincere as the day was long. Rollins nods to Cragen as Benson-

"We can come back."

Cragen-rising from his position on his desk-

"No. Whaddya got?"

Case details were shared from Benson and Amaro and as Cragen gave new orders-Rollins followed them out of his office-up until the last second-that is-

"Rollins?"

Benson and Amaro paused-then kept walking-while Amanda turned around to hear Cragen again-

"Close the door,"

She does so-and as Don stands in front of her with his hands in his pockets-she's not sure what to expect next-

"Ya okay?"

She nods lightly-not trusting her voice-

"Then tell me why you didn't wanna go home that night."

Forgetting that he could-or would-call her out on THIS bluff-Rollins opts for the truth-

"When I first found Murphy when I got to New York, I told him I was a bartender. When I found out how serious of a bookie he was, I made sure to keep that cover tight,"

Her voice was loosening again-having emotion tell the story far better than she was-

"Here lately, I'd seen his…collectors and…muscle hanging around my place. So I'd been trying to go there as little as I could at night. I know I sound crazy, I'm an SVU cop, and I should be able to handle it. But…"

Her voice trailed off and her eyes hit the floor-unwilling to look him in the eye-at least not until she had better tucked away her emotions. Feeling as though she'd answered his question-she turns on her heel-headed inevitably for the door-

"Hey,"

Cragen's voice is strong-determined-and Rollins pauses in her step-yet can't bring herself to face him-

"SVU cop or not-being…cautious about going home is not a bad thing,"

Making his way over to her-he lightly places his hands on her shoulders and turns her around to face him-her eyes now becoming redder by the second-no doubt a side effect from holding her tears-

"It makes you aware,"

Letting his hands slide slowly down from her shoulders and rest on her forearms-

"But you've gotta start being more careful with yourself."

Amanda nods and when she sees Cragen form a small smile on his face-

"What?"

"Just can't remember the last time you called me 'Captain' before all this."

Rollins lets out a real chuckle-the first one the world had heard from her in a while. At thirty-eight years old-Rollins didn't think she'd have a gambling problem. Yet as it turns out-Don Cragen was going to help her out-which quite possibly could've been the best thing that could happen to her-

"I'll keep calling ya Cragen-don't ya worry,"

He nods-and lets her go-heading back to his office chair while Amanda turns for the door. With her hand on the knob-she pauses for a moment-and when she turns-she sees Don sitting in his chair-looking at the file he was before she came in the first time-

"Don?"

He raises his head-eyebrows risen in silent question-

"Thanks."

A warm smile makes its appearance on his face-and Rollins leaves-closing the door behind her. What Amanda didn't realize in that moment was that Cragen was helping her because you go out on a limb-risk things for-and make the impossible possible-for people you love. He would let her stay at his place for as long as necessary-and do anything he could to get her through this.

And that makes all the difference in the world.

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**Well?**


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